In the summer of 2026, Evan famously earned a position at Los Alamos National Lab (LANL), famously in New Mexico. As it happens, he was tasked with bringing his car there. To ease the driving from Long Island, he brought along three long-time friends: Garrett, Jordan, and Joshua. This is their story.
First day was a big one. After leaving with Garrett and Josh, Evan drove to Jordan's house and they were on their way with a automobile stuffed to the brim. Waze coming in clutch is a general theme from this point on, leading them down the LIE and across the Verrazano. It was a little early for Josh, but it was strange knowing they'd be in Washington DC later that afternoon.
After switching at a rest stop in Jersey (does not deserve a page), Garrett safely brought them to the nation's capital at a crisp 1pm. As it goes, the weather was NOT crisp, and the gang was
boiling outside at 95 degrees F. This moderately hampered their time in the city, but they still got to see many of the sights, excluding an under-construction Hwite House. Only second time there, but the city's infracture
was very appreciated, offering much a difference from the dense NYC. Events included the Botanical Gardens, Capitol, DOJ housing the Epstein files, and the unintentional birth of "Tyler."
From DC, Josh took the wheel and brought them 2 more hours south to Charlottesville, VA where they would spend the night.
Approaching what is considered the South, they realized this was quite the college town, housing UVA itself. As such, they stopped at little bar-restaurant
called the Virginian, and had some delicious food after a long day. Unfortunatetly for Evan, this was his first introduction to Southern sweet tea, which would
grow into an addiction later on. They walked around the town a bit, but ultimately called it a day after DC and retired to a cozy Charlottesville hotel where they assuredly fell asleep instantly.
Day 2 was less driving, so they had some time to explore Lynchburg Virginia after passing Jefferson's Monticello. Turns out, this was a splendid idea, as this was the city they
were most surprised at during the trip: it was quaint, walkable, historial, artsy (with largest tile mural + repurposed HVAC school schoolbus) and housed so many nice little antique shops, a farmer's market, and even the first nuclear ship! After exploring the Hill City,
the gang hit up the Depot Grille next to the river which was Evan's favorite lunch of some fried catfish and sweet tea. Lastly before heading to Pigeon Forge, they explored the historical cemetary with some real old structures and chapels.
After hitting up LYH, it was time to head to Pigeon Forge, home of Dollywood and gateway to the Smoky Mountains for the night as they were spotting RK left and right, as well as a
famously dead gorilla on the side of the street just outside Dollywood. Now one would expect this place to be a tiny hickish town, home of Dolly Parton herself, but it turned out to be this vibrant, huge
street bright as the Vegas strip as they arrived in the evening. This included two seperate giant ships, one of which was a Titanic and another a pirate ship. This was all after making a stop at a
truly Southern Tennessee Cracker Barrel. One of the most fun meals ever.
The next morning, they left Pigeon Forge for a long day of driving that would somehow end in New Orleans. Although Evan got one REM cycle of sleep, they headed to the Smoky Moutains for some breathtaking vistas. Indeed, they
had officially been to the mountain top, as per Joshua.
And onwards to the four kings' only other major stop for the day: Birmingham, Alabama. The Magic City was quite a surprisingly charming locale, and quite walkable.
The first stop was a place to eat called Yo Mama's, where they got some delicious deep South cuisine including MORE catfish and MORE sweet tea. After lunch, they headed to
the Bham Post Office to get a postcard which went perfectly!! Since Jordan really wanted to stay longer, he guided them to a small vintage t-shirt shop downtown. The young man at the
counter was happy to see them, and was so elated to have New Yorkers in his shop that he took a picture and put the gang on Instagram!
And from Birmingham they road tripped through Mississippi, two Walmarts, Zaxby's, and Josh safely brought them through pouring rain
to none other than NOLA. Josh's barely furnished, unlocked, unwarm, un-alone flat was...livable...and a tad cold. Yet everyone was grateful to have a place
to sleep after all. With blown-up air mattresses they hit the hay
prepared for a proceding day of rest in the Big Easy.
And on the fourth day, they declared a day of rest to explore what the Birthplace of Jazz had in store. Although it was raining through the morning, they made the most of it by exploring
Tulane's campus courtesy of Josh's hospitality. Following a certain unskippable cutscene, they went to Autobon park to see some greenery and have a rain drop fall right on a camera lens, and finally went back to homebase and pondered at the rain. By the time Josh came back outside, the rain cleared
and they headed to the French Quarter via tramway. And my my it was so soulful being able to explore the food and open "carry" around Bourbon Street. They had a superb meal in the Quarter including Gumbo, Big Nays, and Etoofay.
And the waterworks flowed as Evan, Garrett, and Jordan farewelled Joshua, leaving him in NOLA where he would spend his summer. Garrett took the wheel leaving Lousiana,
where they would stop in few towns to make their way to Dallas. First was breaking fast in a PJ's -- a Southern Dunkin'
if you will. Next was getting gas in Washington, LA. Since they stopped in two buildings there, they saw about half of the town. What was unexpected was to finally see a Corvette HERE, which was on the
unofficial Bingo card. Alas after leaving LA, the remainder of the gang entered their last state before New Mexico: the great big state
of Texas. And of course since Josh was gone, they could finally have lunch at PORKY'S, with a giant pig and catfish as mascots. Safe to say it was probably the
greatest food/price and fry/tasty ratio Evan has eaten. After fueling up, Jordan took the wheel to Dallas.
After a rough Southern journey, the Kia Niro and its contents landed in Dallas, TX, more specifically Frisco, where Evan's Greek family lived! They happily provided a lavish house for the three voyagers, as they enjoyed being
in a real house again, since it had been quite some time since having a home-cooked meal. They frolicked in the lawn with the kids, and FINALLY used the swimsuits that had been awaiting dry in suitcases for 5 days. Everyone agreed this was by far the best sleep of the trip, and were welcomed with utmost hospitality. A final rest before the Gauntlet.
It was finally time. They fueled up with a hardy home-cooked breakfast, and made promises of coming back there. And with a basket of fruit from Thea,
they headed through the desert. The craziest part was really watching New Orleans turn into this -- but it happened. Wind turbines lined the landscape, and it
was nothing but rock and sparse grass for miles on end. This was where the big friend-breaking fight was supposed to happen, but everyone was distracted by the views anyway. A peaceful stretch and infinite expanse, it was an almost poetic start to the end.
And as a right of passage, they stopped at Buc-ee's. Seeing ads for literally hundreds of miles is just beyond genius advertising by Buc-ee the Beaver, but they were going regardless let's be real. Sure, Bea needed gas, but none of the
journeymen had yet been to this landmark, so a real Texas Buc-ee's stop was in order. I almost don't want to spoil the experience for you, but it is unlike anything you've ever seen. Safe to say Evan felt like garbage upon Jordan taking the wheel
to head to the last leg and final state: New Mexico.
After a grueling drive of beautiful scenery, the three kings with a fourth remembered deep in their hearts made it to the final state: New Mexico. The landscape had truly transformed -- Long Island shopping centers to infinite desertscape, but there they were.
It still feels unreal getting to this point of the trip, and knowing that present-Evan is writing this still in this state, not having left yet. It was only a bit more time until Santa Fe, New Mexico. But they made it.
With just 3 more hours, Evan had brough the automobile to The City Different, the capital of New Mexico, chile, and turquoise. With cruise control on, they coasted to HWNM and closed it off
to Baby Blue by Walter White, then lastly parking in the Santa Fe hotel. Stopped at a well-deserved Mexican eatery, Adelitas, Garrett had the best birria tacos of his 21 years of life. Truly, a magical way to end off the culinary tour of this American journey, and ended it off with a final Walmart stop, in memory of Josh. Still, the journey was not over, as that night at 3am, Garrett, driving Evan and Jordan,
drove to ABQ so they could catch their flight home to NY at the Sunport. After leaving Garrett and Jordan, Evan drove back to Santa Fe, in the last, loneliest part of the voyage. That car had not been driven in alone in quite some time.
After Evan drove off, Garrett and Jordan headed home to NY. And as per their promise to each other, these degens got drinks at 8am
in the Houston airport layover and lived to tell the tale, all while Evan went back to sleep in his now eerily empty Santa Fe hotel, and Josh continued
his life in his unfurnished bedroom, preparing for an internship himself. I truly wish everyone I know could understand and experience the beauty and splendor of this trip, especially New Mexico. And as I start my new summer life here, the small introduction my buddies
received on this trip is only a glimpse of what I'll see here. But that is the way it goes, I suppose.
Would I do it again? We'll see...definitely need a cooldown from these people. Here's to loving Andrews!
